PhD Journal

Second Year

2008-08-18T07:14:00.001-07:00

It has been a long first year in this program. Looking back I'm amazed by all I was able to accomplish. Specially the grades I've been able to keep. My GPA is about 3.6 meaning that I've averaged As and Bs leaning towards As. I was also able to have more than 170 counseling sessions. On top of all this I also read more than 200 journal articticles and probably wrote more than 300 pages in papers. I "contributed" in an article, presented a poster, and finished my Predissertation outline. And this is only what I did in school :)

It's good to look back. It helps me to recenter my negative/pessimistic views of my development as a psychologist to be.

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New Event

2008-08-15T16:09:00.001-07:00

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Prediss

2008-08-15T16:08:00.001-07:00

Today I was able to make some significant improvement on my outline. I just wanted to say it :)

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Finances

2008-08-15T16:07:00.001-07:00

PhD and personal finances just don't go well toguether. I've heard fables of high $$$ stipends and little work. Well, that's not my reality.

I guess it will be ok. Time to work on restructuring my own unrealiatic expectations.

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Counseling Center Training

2008-08-13T15:07:00.001-07:00

After three days of sckoll breaking information craming. It's over at last.

I guess the most exciting news emminating from these three days was the update to a paperless initial assessment process. It's a significant improvement from our previous procedure, and even more than most agencies I know of.

It also looks like the hiring of the Stress Management is in it's final stages. I'm crossing my fingers this transition will be smooth.

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PreDiss

2008-08-10T08:41:00.001-07:00

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Getting Back

2008-08-09T12:48:00.001-07:00

Monday the Counseling Center's new year training starts. I guess it will be ok. I'm really excited to talk to the new cohort. Seeing them will definately help me recognize that I'm a second year student now. Very Exciting :)

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Cohort Research

2008-08-09T12:37:00.001-07:00

One of the things that excite me the most about working on my PhD is research. This particular project is very interesting and I'm really curious about we will find.

A draw back about this project is the dificulties we've had to get it started. The problems have ranged from interpersonal dynamics and time constraints.

My hope I'd to get this project done at the same time of my Predissertation. It will not be easy, but it is duable. And this project has a great publication potential. And I really need those :)

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Test

2008-08-09T12:34:00.001-07:00

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Test

2008-08-09T12:33:00.001-07:00

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August

2008-08-02T16:54:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe that a whole new school year is about to start. I've been working on my task program to get it all in from my sylabi. It's a gray feeling to have a year behind me.

School is adictive and I'm craving it a little bit. Well, what can I do :)

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New Event

2008-07-31T13:29:00.001-07:00

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Counseling Practicum

2008-07-30T15:09:00.001-07:00

Today, as most days, I spent at the Georgia State's counseling center. Due to confidentiality I won't discuss any client information on this blog.

I had a great day moving desks, files, computers, etc :) and now I'm tired and hungry. I can't wait to stop by Olive Garden :)

I felt really good about the progress in my counseling. I felt a little rusty after going to Brazil. Today I felt like being back in rithm.

I'm ready for the fall. At least I hope so :D

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Last Lecture

2008-07-29T19:44:00.001-07:00

Break

2008-07-29T16:28:00.001-07:00

I've enjoyed my school break. It has been a little overwelming to think of the year to come. Its taunting to look forward and see some hard classes, work at the counseling center, and a baby on the way. Specialy without much of a social life to relax and find support.

One thing is true, I would not change anything. I'm VERY excited to become a daddy. I can't wait to graduate and see what is in store as my career progresses.

The future is bright.

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Farewell

2008-07-25T15:49:00.001-07:00

Today we said good bye to Dr. Chung our program coordinator. Even though it was a sad time it was also a great opportunity to learn from one of the great minds in career counseling. He, as always, spent time guiding us in our future career development. It was encouraging to know that even on his last day he really cared to educate and guide us.

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Another Summer

2008-07-24T16:22:00.001-07:00

Well another summer has gone by and I tell u, this school thing is getting really old. Maybe my peasimiatic views of late have been taintated by sickness or exaustion, but with no doubt my jubilant views of school have changed. Don't get me wrong, I still love academia, I only hate the classroom learning game. I guess anyone could understand what I'm saying. Western spcietyvhas thought us that a child 3 years old should or would benefit from being in a classroom. I'm not completely desagreeing, but I'm that child. I have been in school for 25 years and I have to confess, I'm tired of being tested. Somebody should know that if I'm sitting in a classroom, my 25 years of experience should be enough to prove of my willingness and ability to learn. Yes I'm a professional student - trust me :) I'm learning.

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Sick

2008-07-23T12:16:00.001-07:00

Well. Today I woke up feeling really sick and tryed to tough it out with out success. I finished my last Stats3 assignment and sent it to my professor. Then I called my clients and canceled my sessions. Then I fell asleep.

I feel very tired. I'm going to sleep a little more.

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Almost Over

2008-07-22T20:19:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I spent the whole day preparing for my Statistical Regression final. And I think, hope, to have done well. It was a hard test, but I still have hopes of getting a B :)

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Going Home

2008-07-20T12:37:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since my last post. I'm trying a new app on my iPhone and hope it will help me incrase the # of posts.

Well I'm at the Mexico City international airport and my flight is bording. Can't wait to see my gorgeous wife :)

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Busy

2008-07-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

Things have been busy lately. Sorry for the lack of entries :( I will write soon.

Let me get back to class = Testing the Assumptions of homogeneity of Regression

Me and the Fam ;D

2008-06-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

My family and I had the privilege to visit the 3rd tallest watterfall in Brazil (3 football fields hight). This is a picture of me and my family at a stop at a village called Tabuleiro. The coffee they served was the BEST I've ever tasted. Just AMAZING. I guess Starbuscks is missing out.

Summer School

2008-06-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of classes I am ready to say that I have a love and hate relationship with statistical regression. I like the research possibilities attached with this statistical analysis, but I hate having to understand its foundations. Dr. Gagne is a GENIOUS and this is a advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage is that he makes it look easy and achievable, on the disadvantage side is the fact that he knows so much that getting lost is a common situation. Well, I should not complain since some of the best people are in this class, making it really fun.

I guess I will continue to work on the homework and the IMPOSSIBLE quizes :D

Back

2008-06-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

I underestimated the benefit it would be going back home. Vanessa and I spent about 15 days in Brazil. It was time well deserved after a year away. I could not write this post without thanking Vanessa's parents, specially F.H. So, THANK YOU
I will add some pictures with captions. I believe they will speak about my experience in Brazil better than I could ever write them.

Rest

2008-05-14T04:46:00.001-07:00

Its hard to believe. I've finished my first year in my PhD conquest. The spring semester was the hardest school period since 7th grade. I was busy 24/7 and wasn't able to get things done. I was giving my all and had to do it to the bitter end.

My spiritual life has suffered this semester. I guess so was too busy to commune with God. There was no quiet time. I was on the go - all the time. I had too many excuses. I'm glad I had a community who supported me and walked with me physically and in prayer. I was never disconnected from God, I just had a whole lot of interference. My spiritual family was a signal boost during hard times. The podcasts (McManus, Batterson, Bell) saved me with spiritual food on the go. Prayer connected me to a
fountain of hope and rest.

Vanessa was an amazing support. She was caring and selfless to the extreme. I was a zombie of a husband and a non-existent friend in the last two weeks of class. Without her I would have lost it mentally.

My cohort and class mates were a different kind of support. They were in the boat with me. It would always help to get into the Doc Lab and talk about how bad things were and how unreasonable the assignments, professors, program of study, research, you get the idea, were. I loved to conspire a revolution with them, to some day bring down the system :). Well, I know I will look back and see that all the stress/pressure play a important role in becoming a Psychologist (I think).

After a week of rest I'm regaining my normal faculties. Things such as laughter, hope, balance, etc...

I'm back and don't want to repeat the same mistake. I know its possible to do better and be a human being during this program. I recognize I made some rookie mistakes, and did not prioritize well.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm looking forward to my second year.

Non Stop

2008-05-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

I underestimated the cost of writing a 20 qualitative research proposal, a 17 page take home exam, a 12 page literature review (still undone - half way there), a 5 page Extra credit essay, and a 3 page written analysis. On top of all that I still had to attend classes (4 total), and see about 8 clients and sit in at a 2 hour AOD group.

I would be lying if I said my educational resolve was unshaken. I had serious doubts and concerns. Yes! I thought about quitting. It is amazing to see how hard it is just to write these words. I am the kind of person who makes a decision and give it all towards that goal. I will go without eating (I just forget about it) if I have a assignment due. I am that driven, but I have to admit I'm human, I get tired.

This is exactly how I feel after a whole year in the Ph.D. = TIRED. This weekend I had to take it easy. If I didn't I know I would break. I have slowed down a bit and feel really renewed. I still worry that I might be miscalculating the amount of time it will take to finish my paper, but I have no choice I need new strength.

Rested

2008-04-21T06:22:00.001-07:00

I have rested this weekend, and it only happened because I worked out.
It is hard to admit but I have not worked out in months.

I recognize I have to change, and I will change. I know being specific
will help so here is my goal: to workout at least twice a week.

I know it is possible. I know.

About Me

2008-04-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

Balance a goal every human should strive for. Last week I was
confronted with a revelation. As an international student, than
resident I've learned to step back, and be quiet. It's hard to be
assertive in a foreign land. The hardest is to know how soft/hard
should I present my voice, so in doubt I stayed quiet, and invisible.

It worked for a while, but not long enough. It surfaced in
supervision, was exposed on a research meeting. Scary and empowering
at the same time. I'm looking forward to see where this new assertive
me.

Douglas Ribeiro
Counseling Psychology PhD Student

Research

2008-04-03T13:33:00.001-07:00

Being part of a scientist/practitioner PhD program has its advantages
and dis-advantages.

The opportunity and privilege of exploring the world in a psychologial
is a clear advantage. Having professors with a lifetime of experience
one door knock away is priceless.

"With power comes resposibility". With science/knowledge comes
practicum/burnout.

I love the feeling of progression and development research gives me.
It is a unique and fulfilling feeling. Practice on the other hand
feels overwelming and taxing. I hope to achieve some productive
balance/harmony.

Yes, I am a dreamer

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Balance and Persistance

2008-04-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

I just realized how important it is balance my PhD adventure. I hurts to observe a group for an hour and a half, then follow with four sessions back to back. By 7:45pm my brain was shutting down, my body was numb, and my counseling skills went down with it.

Without a doubt last Tuesday was the hardest day of my first year in this program.By the weekend Vanessa was able to see the impact of that week on my psyche, and everything else. She asked, "is it going to be like this for ever?". Tough question, specially when you don't know the answer, the only thing I had was hope. Hope that it would not be like this, that last week was a fluke of nature and that everything was going to be OK.

Well it got better this week. I am glad I did not give up (just being sarcastic).

I'm back, at least for a little while (persistence is good, but balanced).

Sabath the desired Self-Care

2008-03-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

I needed a Saturday like today. Sleep in and rest.

It might sound a easy thing to do, but for me it is a privilege. Usually, I will be doing homework at Panera Bread (free net), participating in some kind of meeting, or house chores.

But as i mentioned, today was different. My wife and I went to the Six Flags and had a GREAT time. I recognize this is, and will be instrumental in achieving my academic goals (Ph.D).

It is a inside joke to talk about self care amongst the members of my cohort.

Well, I did it, at least for today.

2008-03-29T15:15:00.001-07:00

Douglas Ribeiro
Counseling Psychology PhD Student
Georgia State University

Just Surviving :D

2008-03-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

As you can see working on a Ph.D. is somewhat time consuming. Looking back I realize that I did have the time to come and add a post or two; I just didn't have the brain power to do so :D

Well It has been a amazing ride.

From learning about the basics of research to debating race and ethnic relations.

From practicing at the university's counseling center to learning the ins and outs of being a supervisee.

The first year is coming down to an end. I realized that in someways I loved and hated it. I quote my wife and mentor, "You are doing exactly what you want to do". Amen, I just need to balance it all.

INCEPT

2007-06-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

My PhD crusade continues ...

Yesterday I participated in a panel in which new Georgia State students and their parents asked questions about academic expectations to professors (I was the only Teaching Assistant). It was a good learning experience, since they did not pay me for it. As expected I felt somewhat nervous to be one the "experts" (Just as a reminder this is my first academic teaching gig :D ). I also learned a lot about the students I am going to have this Fall (they are nervous too). I hope to remember this when I walk into my classroom. We are all doing something new and it takes time to get used to it. They will probably mask fear it by appearing apathetic and I by being over confident :D (its a joke)

Back from Brazil

2007-06-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

WOW. It is June already.

I had a wonderful time in Brazil for the last two weeks. It was great to see my family and friends. Since this is my "PhD Journal" I will talk about my trip in light of my future plans of earning a PhD.
One of the goals of this trip was to explain to my family why I it would be in school for at least 4 more years. The idea of someone going to school for such a long time is as foreign as the USA itself. My parents were particularly worried about my ability to stay "normal" and not go "crazy" due to my studies. After talking to them about the school, professors, and my daily life they felt a little more comfortable with my decision (or gave up on changing my mind :D).
This time time in Brazil also served as rest before some intense studying this fall. It still amazes me the impact of immigration on ones psychology. Even though it was stressful being back "home", I relaxed and was able to rest. My wife mentioned she enjoyed the support of family and friends and saw it as the main source of rest to her. I can't pinpoint one thing that made me relax in Brazil. I theorize that being "average" again has a lot to do with it, even though having a diverse background has benefited me with numerous opportunities in the USA. Is this my dissertation topic? My masterpiece? Probably not :D
I would like to finish with a quote from Roberto DaMatta that I read on "Brasil Fora de Si" by Jose Carlos Sebe Bom Meihy:
"Only few situations have such similarity with death than traveling, specially to a foreign country. Those who leave their birth place experience the death of the realities (landscapes/views, smells, temperatures, seasoning, rhythms, spaces, colors, relationships, objects, people, and contexts) that stayed behind in that place. Things will always belong to the place left behind. This birth place where we open our eyes to what, someday, if all goes well, will welcome us back with that glorious indifference which we strongly fight to domesticate and control" (translation by Douglas Ribeiro)

Now Summer

2007-05-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finished my last class as a Ed.S student. I can't believe that in August I will start working on my PhD.
My summer plans are:
Visit family in Belo Horizonte, Brazil from May 16th to the 30th. It is always great to see family, friends, and experience a little bit of the city I grew up at. No doubt it is going to be a refreshing time after a long year of school.
Visit Mexico City, Mexico from July 14th to the 23rd. Since 2003 I have desired to visiting Mexico. Having contact with so many Mexicanos here in the United States created this yearning for their culture and consequently their country. I hope to visit some small towns while there, since most of my friends come from small villages, and without a doubt I will eat, eat, and eat.

The Cohort

2007-04-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was able to communicate with some of the students who will be part of my Cohort. We exchanged emails and discussed moving and weather in Atlanta. I am sure the folks that are coming from the North East will be shocked by "Hotlanta's" summer.

Right now we are 7, out of the 70 who applied, hopefully the competition is over (and from our talks online it seems that way). I am very excited about getting to know them. I am sure I will learn a whole lot from this group.

Personal Statement

2007-04-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

I have been in the process of preparing for teaching the CPS 2500 class. Ron Herndon is the Coordinator and he asked us to send him a personal statement. So here it is:
Douglas Ribeiro is a first year counseling psychology doctoral student who is interested in teaching CPS 2500 (GSU 1010) as a way to prepare himself in achieving future goals of educating minority groups in career development and psychological wellness. Douglas' training and previous experience have prepared him to exceed in this position. Douglas has a master's degree in professional counseling in which he was trained in career counseling, and life-cycle development. Douglas has also demonstrated efficiency in preparing and presenting career seminars to CPS 2500 (GSU 1010) while a graduate administrative assistant (GAA) for the Georgia State University's Career Center. His training and presentation experience are just a few of the qualifications that have prepared Douglas to teach and enrich the lives of the CPS 2500 students at Georgia State University.
It is kind of funny to write in third person, but he needs to do what he needs to do :D
Things are going well, I continue to be very excited about next fall.

Preparation

2007-04-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

Things continue to go well, I was able to communicate with a few professors that are important to my academic future. They are Dr. Cassandra White, from the department of Anthropology and chief investigator of a research project which I am involved in. I will probably meet with her today and touch bases on the project. I also emailed Dr. Julia Perilla, from the department of Psychology. She is one of the founders of Caminar Latino, a domestic violence program for Latino Families.

I have also received a few emails from Sojourners, concerning opportunities to be more involved. There are two openings for the Fall: Treasurer and Academic Chair/Student Advocate. I believe the second would be a better choice professionally, but it is not my decision. I will be happy with either one.

For now this is it :D

2007-04-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

It feels like a lot of things happened in the last two days. I was offered a position as the 2007-2008 Editor of the CPS News, which I declined today after talking with Vanessa and realizing that it would be too much responsibility and too little $$$.
Today I also received feedback from Dr. Ancis on my schedule, It sounded like she was OK with it. Here are the classes I hope to be taking next Fall:

Educational Statistics II
Advanced Developmental Psychology II: Personality and Socialization
Applied Practice II
Stress Management
Counseling Psych. Seminar
Research and Publication

2007-04-13T12:25:00.001-07:00

4/11/07
Today I emailed my Fall 2007 schedule to Dr. Ancis and Ron Herndon. Yesterday I met with Dr. Chung and accepted a Teaching Assistantship for the Fall and Spring semesters. I will be teaching the CPS2500 class. It will be the first time I will actually teach an undergraduate class and hope this will open doors to many other opportunities.
Review of Events:
It has been a very exciting period of my life. About two and a half years ago (rough estimate) after talking with Dr. Eldridge, Vanessa and I talked about the possibility of me pursuing a PhD degree with the hopes of me teaching online and living in Brazil. Our idea was that I could work part time teaching online and the remaining of the time to minister in Brazil.
After this conversation I started to look into a number of online PhD. degrees. I looked into Walden University, Capella university and a few others. After looking into the APA website, I realized that they had a list of Accredited PhD programs and that even though online programs were regionally accredited they were not APA accredited and consequently unable to get a Psychologist Licence. This information caused me to look into a number of APA approved programs and come down to a few that I liked the most. They were, Miami University, New York University, Georgia State University, Tennessee State University, and a few others.
During the 2005 Spring Break Vanessa and I served in Sarasota Florida and really enjoyed to be around the Brazilian community there and realized that it would not be so bad to attend school in Florida, due to the large concentration of Brazilians in that area. Returning from Florida we stopped in Atlanta, GA at the Rob's home. They introduced to us the Church and the Genesis Counseling Center and informed us that Atlanta also had a large Brazilian Population. It ended up being the perfect match. Georgia State University had a great focus on Multiculturalism, and was located in a area which the Latino population was growing rapidly.
The application process was very long and stressful. I first applied to the Ed.S. program in Professional Counseling. I had a low GRE 880 and my hopes of getting into the Ph.D were very low because of it. Required minimum GRE for Ed.S 900 and Ph.D 1000. The hand of God was through out this process by allowing me to enter both programs with the same GRE. During the application period I got very interested in the Ph.D program at University of Georgia and applied to that program too. It was very discouraging because I was not even called to interview at UGA. My hopes of getting into the GSU program were 0. But God's hand continued to be in the whole process and I was called to interview at GSU and was placed as the first alternate for Dr. Ancis. Needless to say I received the call of acceptance on April 5th around 8:15pm. I also received the following email:
Congratulations, Douglas! You have been accepted into the counseling psychology doctoral program at Georgia State University! For the first year, you will be provided with a GRA either teaching or assisting me with research, or both, a $2000 stipend and tuition waiver. Please let me know if I can answer any questions and whether you accept the offer. We are very happy to be able to extend this offer to you and think you would make a fine candidate for doctoral work.Sincerely, Dr. Ancis
On April 10th I send the following thank you note:
Dear Dr Cravens, Johnson, Finton, and Morris. I hope this note finds you well. I am writing to thank you for your letter of recommendation, and to inform you that I was accepted into Georgia State University's Ph.D program in Counseling Psychology. Thank you for your help,support, and guidance. I thank God for the blessing of having you as a mentor. At the moment, it looks like I will be teaching an undergraduate class, participating on research projects, and working full time on the degree. My hope is to finish the degree by May of 2011.I hope to visit Henderson in the near future, and if possible I would love to see you and thank you personally. Again, thank you. Douglas Ribeiro

In concluding today I want to say that this journal will follow me throughout the program and work as a reminder that God Can Do Anything - Nothing Is Impossible to God.