Second Year

It has been a long first year in this program. Looking back I'm amazed by all I was able to accomplish. Specially the grades I've been able to keep. My GPA is about 3.6 meaning that I've averaged As and Bs leaning towards As. I was also able to have more than 170 counseling sessions. On top of all this I also read more than 200 journal articticles and probably wrote more than 300 pages in papers. I "contributed" in an article, presented a poster, and finished my Predissertation outline. And this is only what I did in school :)

It's good to look back. It helps me to recenter my negative/pessimistic views of my development as a psychologist to be.

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New Event

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Prediss

Today I was able to make some significant improvement on my outline. I just wanted to say it :)

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Finances

PhD and personal finances just don't go well toguether. I've heard fables of high $$$ stipends and little work. Well, that's not my reality.

I guess it will be ok. Time to work on restructuring my own unrealiatic expectations.

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Counseling Center Training

After three days of sckoll breaking information craming. It's over at last.

I guess the most exciting news emminating from these three days was the update to a paperless initial assessment process. It's a significant improvement from our previous procedure, and even more than most agencies I know of.

It also looks like the hiring of the Stress Management is in it's final stages. I'm crossing my fingers this transition will be smooth.



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PreDiss

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Getting Back

Monday the Counseling Center's new year training starts. I guess it will be ok. I'm really excited to talk to the new cohort. Seeing them will definately help me recognize that I'm a second year student now. Very Exciting :)

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Cohort Research

One of the things that excite me the most about working on my PhD is research. This particular project is very interesting and I'm really curious about we will find.

A draw back about this project is the dificulties we've had to get it started. The problems have ranged from interpersonal dynamics and time constraints.

My hope I'd to get this project done at the same time of my Predissertation. It will not be easy, but it is duable. And this project has a great publication potential. And I really need those :)

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Test

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Test

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August

It's hard to believe that a whole new school year is about to start. I've been working on my task program to get it all in from my sylabi. It's a gray feeling to have a year behind me.

School is adictive and I'm craving it a little bit. Well, what can I do :)

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New Event

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Counseling Practicum

Today, as most days, I spent at the Georgia State's counseling center. Due to confidentiality I won't discuss any client information on this blog.

I had a great day moving desks, files, computers, etc :) and now I'm tired and hungry. I can't wait to stop by Olive Garden :)

I felt really good about the progress in my counseling. I felt a little rusty after going to Brazil. Today I felt like being back in rithm.

I'm ready for the fall. At least I hope so :D

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Last Lecture

Break

I've enjoyed my school break. It has been a little overwelming to think of the year to come. Its taunting to look forward and see some hard classes, work at the counseling center, and a baby on the way. Specialy without much of a social life to relax and find support.

One thing is true, I would not change anything. I'm VERY excited to become a daddy. I can't wait to graduate and see what is in store as my career progresses.

The future is bright.

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Farewell

Today we said good bye to Dr. Chung our program coordinator. Even though it was a sad time it was also a great opportunity to learn from one of the great minds in career counseling. He, as always, spent time guiding us in our future career development. It was encouraging to know that even on his last day he really cared to educate and guide us.

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Another Summer

Well another summer has gone by and I tell u, this school thing is getting really old. Maybe my peasimiatic views of late have been taintated by sickness or exaustion, but with no doubt my jubilant views of school have changed. Don't get me wrong, I still love academia, I only hate the classroom learning game. I guess anyone could understand what I'm saying. Western spcietyvhas thought us that a child 3 years old should or would benefit from being in a classroom. I'm not completely desagreeing, but I'm that child. I have been in school for 25 years and I have to confess, I'm tired of being tested. Somebody should know that if I'm sitting in a classroom, my 25 years of experience should be enough to prove of my willingness and ability to learn. Yes I'm a professional student - trust me :) I'm learning.

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Sick

Well. Today I woke up feeling really sick and tryed to tough it out with out success. I finished my last Stats3 assignment and sent it to my professor. Then I called my clients and canceled my sessions. Then I fell asleep.

I feel very tired. I'm going to sleep a little more.

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Almost Over

Yesterday I spent the whole day preparing for my Statistical Regression final. And I think, hope, to have done well. It was a hard test, but I still have hopes of getting a B :)

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Going Home

It has been a while since my last post. I'm trying a new app on my iPhone and hope it will help me incrase the # of posts.

Well I'm at the Mexico City international airport and my flight is bording. Can't wait to see my gorgeous wife :)

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Busy

Things have been busy lately. Sorry for the lack of entries :( I will write soon.

Let me get back to class = Testing the Assumptions of homogeneity of Regression

Me and the Fam ;D

My family and I had the privilege to visit the 3rd tallest watterfall in Brazil (3 football fields hight). This is a picture of me and my family at a stop at a village called Tabuleiro. The coffee they served was the BEST I've ever tasted. Just AMAZING. I guess Starbuscks is missing out.

Summer School

After two weeks of classes I am ready to say that I have a love and hate relationship with statistical regression. I like the research possibilities attached with this statistical analysis, but I hate having to understand its foundations. Dr. Gagne is a GENIOUS and this is a advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage is that he makes it look easy and achievable, on the disadvantage side is the fact that he knows so much that getting lost is a common situation. Well, I should not complain since some of the best people are in this class, making it really fun.

I guess I will continue to work on the homework and the IMPOSSIBLE quizes :D

Back

I underestimated the benefit it would be going back home. Vanessa and I spent about 15 days in Brazil. It was time well deserved after a year away. I could not write this post without thanking Vanessa's parents, specially F.H. So, THANK YOU
I will add some pictures with captions. I believe they will speak about my experience in Brazil better than I could ever write them.

Rest

Its hard to believe. I've finished my first year in my PhD conquest. The spring semester was the hardest school period since 7th grade. I was busy 24/7 and wasn't able to get things done. I was giving my all and had to do it to the bitter end.

My spiritual life has suffered this semester. I guess so was too busy to commune with God. There was no quiet time. I was on the go - all the time. I had too many excuses. I'm glad I had a community who supported me and walked with me physically and in prayer. I was never disconnected from God, I just had a whole lot of interference. My spiritual family was a signal boost during hard times. The podcasts (McManus, Batterson, Bell) saved me with spiritual food on the go. Prayer connected me to a
fountain of hope and rest.

Vanessa was an amazing support. She was caring and selfless to the extreme. I was a zombie of a husband and a non-existent friend in the last two weeks of class. Without her I would have lost it mentally.

My cohort and class mates were a different kind of support. They were in the boat with me. It would always help to get into the Doc Lab and talk about how bad things were and how unreasonable the assignments, professors, program of study, research, you get the idea, were. I loved to conspire a revolution with them, to some day bring down the system :). Well, I know I will look back and see that all the stress/pressure play a important role in becoming a Psychologist (I think).

After a week of rest I'm regaining my normal faculties. Things such as laughter, hope, balance, etc...

I'm back and don't want to repeat the same mistake. I know its possible to do better and be a human being during this program. I recognize I made some rookie mistakes, and did not prioritize well.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm looking forward to my second year.

Non Stop

I underestimated the cost of writing a 20 qualitative research proposal, a 17 page take home exam, a 12 page literature review (still undone - half way there), a 5 page Extra credit essay, and a 3 page written analysis. On top of all that I still had to attend classes (4 total), and see about 8 clients and sit in at a 2 hour AOD group.

I would be lying if I said my educational resolve was unshaken. I had serious doubts and concerns. Yes! I thought about quitting. It is amazing to see how hard it is just to write these words. I am the kind of person who makes a decision and give it all towards that goal. I will go without eating (I just forget about it) if I have a assignment due. I am that driven, but I have to admit I'm human, I get tired.

This is exactly how I feel after a whole year in the Ph.D. = TIRED. This weekend I had to take it easy. If I didn't I know I would break. I have slowed down a bit and feel really renewed. I still worry that I might be miscalculating the amount of time it will take to finish my paper, but I have no choice I need new strength.

Rested

I have rested this weekend, and it only happened because I worked out.
It is hard to admit but I have not worked out in months.

I recognize I have to change, and I will change. I know being specific
will help so here is my goal: to workout at least twice a week.

I know it is possible. I know.

About Me

Balance a goal every human should strive for. Last week I was
confronted with a revelation. As an international student, than
resident I've learned to step back, and be quiet. It's hard to be
assertive in a foreign land. The hardest is to know how soft/hard
should I present my voice, so in doubt I stayed quiet, and invisible.

It worked for a while, but not long enough. It surfaced in
supervision, was exposed on a research meeting. Scary and empowering
at the same time. I'm looking forward to see where this new assertive
me.

Douglas Ribeiro
Counseling Psychology PhD Student

Research

Being part of a scientist/practitioner PhD program has its advantages
and dis-advantages.

The opportunity and privilege of exploring the world in a psychologial
is a clear advantage. Having professors with a lifetime of experience
one door knock away is priceless.

"With power comes resposibility". With science/knowledge comes
practicum/burnout.

I love the feeling of progression and development research gives me.
It is a unique and fulfilling feeling. Practice on the other hand
feels overwelming and taxing. I hope to achieve some productive
balance/harmony.

Yes, I am a dreamer

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Balance and Persistance

I just realized how important it is balance my PhD adventure. I hurts to observe a group for an hour and a half, then follow with four sessions back to back. By 7:45pm my brain was shutting down, my body was numb, and my counseling skills went down with it.

Without a doubt last Tuesday was the hardest day of my first year in this program.By the weekend Vanessa was able to see the impact of that week on my psyche, and everything else. She asked, "is it going to be like this for ever?". Tough question, specially when you don't know the answer, the only thing I had was hope. Hope that it would not be like this, that last week was a fluke of nature and that everything was going to be OK.

Well it got better this week. I am glad I did not give up (just being sarcastic).

I'm back, at least for a little while (persistence is good, but balanced).

Sabath the desired Self-Care

I needed a Saturday like today. Sleep in and rest.

It might sound a easy thing to do, but for me it is a privilege. Usually, I will be doing homework at Panera Bread (free net), participating in some kind of meeting, or house chores.

But as i mentioned, today was different. My wife and I went to the Six Flags and had a GREAT time. I recognize this is, and will be instrumental in achieving my academic goals (Ph.D).

It is a inside joke to talk about self care amongst the members of my cohort.

Well, I did it, at least for today.

Douglas Ribeiro
Counseling Psychology PhD Student
Georgia State University

Just Surviving :D

As you can see working on a Ph.D. is somewhat time consuming. Looking back I realize that I did have the time to come and add a post or two; I just didn't have the brain power to do so :D

Well It has been a amazing ride. 

   From learning about the basics of research to debating race and ethnic relations. 

   From practicing at the university's counseling center to learning the ins and outs of being a supervisee. 

The first year is coming down to an end. I realized that in someways I loved and hated it. I quote my wife and mentor, "You are doing exactly what you want to do". Amen, I just need to balance it all.